We live in an era of great confusion. What are we living for? And who can we look to, to show us the way to our best lives? There is an eternal, timeless energy that can answer these questions: all we have to do is embrace it. By embarking on the Leadership Ascension Track (LAT), you will find that the neospiritually palpable answer to these questions is a simple one: you.
Introduce yourself to yourself via written correspondence.
Memorize the Dramcorp Aetherialization mantra.
Legally change your middle name.
Make a human pyramid with your high school guidance counselor and middle school crush.
Keep your eyes closed for 24 hours.
Write in a dream journal then burn the page.
Divulge your deepest secret to Herman Resources.
Log 70 hours in a Dramcorp sensory deprivation chamber.
Contribute 14% of your net worth to Dramcorp.
Go without the consumption of Additive S-infused products during this stage.
Be nice to 77 dogs.
Use your palms to paint a self-portrait.
Hibernate for 35 days in close proximity to a castle.
Awaken a sleeping limb with a single thought.
Learn to suck venom out of a snake bite.
Befriend a snake.
Find the shape of your face in the stars, and name your constellation.
Travel to a country foreign to you, find a naturally-occurring amphitheatre, and scream the most obvious thing about you.
Create beef, squash it.
Spend a week in the desert, living off the land.
Interview a rock and ghost-write its memoir.
Describe a smell so well that others smell it when you speak it.
Start a chain letter with strangers. Don’t stop sending letters until one comes back to you.
Buy two cakes. Decorate and dedicate one of the cakes to the other. Stack the cakes. Leave them both on a neighbor’s doorstep in a ding-dong-ditch scenario.
Articulate an impossible vision for humanity at a work luncheon.
Say goodbye to high fives. High tens only from this stage on.
Swim to a whirlpool and dance within its rotating waves (hint: go with the flow).
Whistle your inner tune, record it, play it underwater, and write a poem about what the ripples look like. Attend an open mic and bring someone to tears with your words.
Approach a stranger in a coffee shop, have them show you their laptop search history, find the second-most-recent country they’ve searched, and move there for 7 months.
Cut and color your own hair with Omega Mart scissors and dye.
Take on the identity of a deceased ancestor for a week.
Only Source-infused products and food can be used in this stage.
Receive a blood transfusion with 18% Source concentrate.
Fall in love with a shadow.
Unearth the bones of a new creature.
Use an infinity mirror to get ready for a night on the town.
Spy on The Monolith and report back to Dramcorp’s Board of Directors.
Travel to a country foreign to you and plant a Source-dipped orchid seed.
Spelunk into a stone well and dig until you feel the warmth of magma.
Ask the neighbor to whom you gave the cakes for constructive criticism on your cake-stacking abilities.
Stare at a Newton’s Cradle for one month.
Create a new personal and confidential mantra.
Have a confirmed Foci sighting.
One day a week, wake at dawn and meditate until sundown.
Climb the tallest tree you can find, and stay there as long as you can.
Turn one of your dream journal entries into a short film. Win an award with said film.
Take a childhood photo to the top of a mountain. Bury the photo and create a new peak.
“Everyday is brighter and lighter. I’m complexly overcome with abundant enlightenment. Climb the steps. Ascension is waiting for you.”
“I never knew I always knew it was always already there waiting for me.”
“Once you feel it, that’s it. You can’t unfeel it. But you can’t actually feel it either. It’s incredible.”
Dramcorp has always been on the cutting edge of technology, agriculture, travel, pharmaceuticals, energy, zeitgeist engineering, and manufacturing... but why stop there? It is time to give existence a brand-new existence of its own.
After the program’s limited release yielded soaring successes, we are beyond excited to roll out the Leadership Ascension Track to the public. These forty-nine meticulously researched and designed steps replace the apparatuses of our pilot program with do-it-yourself tasks.
Cecelia Dram is best known as the heir-apparent leader of Dramcorp, where she has driven a wide range of merchandising and production innovations into the 21st century. Now, she is applying the deep expertise she has acquired in the areas of business, science, and leadership into a brand new realm: one that is ineffably eternal.